Eulogy from a former indulger…

I’m 27 and I was just told by my doctor to lay off fatty foods for the foreseeable future.  Apparently I’m actually an old lady.  Nerts!!!  Since I need to curb my habits, I figured I’d give a fond (temporary) farewell to my favourite fatty indulgences.

1. My dear Coffee.  You wake me up, you keep me warm… it’s not you, but the cream and sugar I add to you that makes you all the more velvety and smooth.  We had a good run together, and while it’s not quite the same, I hope you play nicely with our new friends skim and soy milk.  They’re not as cool or delicious and the thought of using them makes me die a little inside, but hopefully we can make it work.

2. Cheeseburger… what can I say?  You might be my guiltiest pleasure of all, but can you blame me?  Forget the ketchup and hold the pickle.  You have always been the best au natural.

3. Guacamole… No one believed me when I said that “good fat” is still okay…  apparently I was mistaken.  But I have to wonder how can something so good be so wrong?

4. All things deep fried.  Chicken wings, french fries, onion rings, twinkles?!  A world of possibility has temporarily been closed, and I can’t help but wonder what I’m going to miss.  Hopefully ignorance is bliss.

5. Butter.  This one hurts the most.  I’ll just say that I’ll miss you most of all.

In the end, it is for the best as it’ll hopefully save me from some complications.  However, I can’t help but feel like I’ve lost a dear friend today…. until we meet again.

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About Alison

iEat, iWatch, iLaugh, iCook (sometimes), iGeek, iLove, iKid, iJudge.... View all posts by Alison

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